The house rules cover what happens at the cabin. A guest policy covers who gets to be there in the first place. Families skip this one because it feels unfriendly to write down, and then discover that everyone had a different picture of what “bring whoever you want” meant.
The goal is not to keep people out. It is to make sure nobody is surprised, the septic survives, and a member’s college roommate does not end up with the keys for a week nobody agreed to. Here is how to think it through, with sample language.
Start by naming who counts as family
Most confusion comes from the edges of “family.” Decide, and write down, where these people stand:
- Spouses and long-term partners. Usually full standing, able to be at the place without the member.
- Adult children of members. Can they book on their own? At what age? Most families say yes once they are out of college, sometimes with a cap on nights.
- Grandchildren and their friends. Same question one generation down.
- Former spouses. Awkward, and better decided in the abstract than during a divorce.
A useful pattern: anyone who can book a week on their own is a member. Everyone else is a guest of a member, and that member is responsible for them.
The guest tiers most families land on
Guests with the member present
The default and the easy case. A member is there and brings friends, in-laws, or their kids’ friends. The only rules needed are about numbers and behavior:
- Total headcount stays within the beds, or within whatever limit the septic and the neighbors can take.
- The member is responsible for their guests following the house rules.
- Give the family a heads-up if it is a crowd. Not for permission, just so nobody plans a quiet weekend next door.
Guests without the member present
Lending the place out. This is where families disagree most, so decide explicitly. Options range from never, to only with family approval, to freely within a member’s own booked weeks. A common middle ground:
- A member may lend the place during their own booked time to people they vouch for.
- They tell the family who is coming.
- They remain responsible for anything that happens, including damage and the cleaning.
- A limit on how often, so the cabin does not become a member’s free guesthouse for friends.
Extended family and the next generation
Nieces, nephews, cousins who are not owners. Some families let them book on their own like members. Others treat them as guests who need a member sponsor. Either is fine. Decide, so the cousin who asks is not the first person to find out there is no rule.
Renters
Paying strangers are a different question with their own guide: should we rent out the family cabin?
Sample guest policy
Adapt as needed. Shorter is better.
Who can book: Owners, their spouses or partners, and their children over 21 may book time on the calendar.
Guests with you: Bring whoever you like, up to the number of beds. You are responsible for your guests and for the house while they are there.
Guests without you: You may lend the place to people you know well during your own booked weeks, up to twice a season. Post who is coming on the board beforehand. You are responsible for them and for the cleaning afterward.
Big groups: Anything over the bed count, or any event, needs a quick okay from the family first.
Pets: Guests’ pets follow the same rules as ours.
Renting: The place is not rented to outsiders unless the whole family agrees.
Questions that come up, and reasonable answers
A member’s adult child wants to bring a partner the family has not met. Treat the partner as a guest of that adult child. They come with them, not instead of them, until the family says otherwise.
A member wants to host a wedding or a reunion. Events need approval, a plan for parking and septic, and usually a cleaning fee to the reserve. Many families say yes with those in place.
A guest breaks something. The sponsoring member covers it, no drama. Write that down so it is a rule and not a confrontation.
Someone lends the place constantly. This is what the per-season limit is for. If it is not written down, the conversation is personal. If it is, the conversation is “we agreed on twice.”
Make the guest weeks visible
The single most effective piece of any guest policy is putting the guests on the calendar. If a member lends the cabin to friends, that week shows on the shared calendar like any other booking, with a note about who is coming. Nobody gets surprised, the family can see how often it happens, and the friends are expected rather than discovered.
With SharedStead, every booking, including guest stays, sits on one calendar the whole family can see, the guest policy lives with the house rules on the property, and the board is where a member posts “my friends the Nguyens will be up the week of the 14th.” The policy stops being a document and becomes how the place runs.
Related: our guide to fair booking rules, which covers how members claim their own weeks.
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