Every shared family place has house rules. Most of them are unwritten, which means they are really just the preferences of whoever has been there longest, enforced by sighing. The new son-in-law does not know that the kayaks go back on the top rack, and he is not a bad person for that. He just was not told.
Written house rules take the guesswork and the passive aggression out of it. Here is how to write rules that people will follow, with examples you can adapt.
What makes a house rule work
The rules that get followed share three traits:
- They explain why. “Leave the fridge door propped open when you close up, or it molds over winter” gets followed. “Prop the fridge open” gets forgotten.
- They are few. Ten rules people remember beat forty they skim. Move the detail into the house manual and keep the rules short.
- They are visible at the moment they matter. On the wall by the door, and in whatever the family uses to book the place, so people see them when they claim a week.
Write them as a family, not as a decree from the person who happens to own the most. Rules people helped write are rules they defend.
Example house rules
Adapt freely. Cut what does not apply and add the two or three things that are specific to your place.
Arriving
- Check the calendar before you come, even for a day trip. If someone has the place booked, it is theirs.
- Turn the water on and check under the sinks before you unpack. Report any leak the same day.
- Note anything broken or missing on arrival, so it is not pinned on you.
While you are there
- Quiet after 10 p.m. Sound carries across the water.
- No smoking inside. Cigarettes go in the can, not the lake.
- Pets are welcome if they are welcome at home: off the furniture, cleaned up after, never left alone in the house.
- Kids under 12 on the dock wear life jackets. No exceptions, no debate.
- Use the boats, then rinse them and put them back where you found them.
- Replace what you finish. If you use the last of the coffee, buy coffee.
Guests
- Family members may bring guests when they are there with them.
- Ask before hosting a group larger than the beds. The septic has limits and so do the neighbors.
- No lending the place to friends without a family member present, unless the family has agreed in advance.
- Guests follow the house rules. You are responsible for your guests.
Leaving
- Leave it cleaner than you found it: beds stripped, dishes done and put away, floors swept, trash out.
- Run the dishwasher and leave it open. Empty the fridge of anything that will spoil before the next visit.
- Turn off lights, fans, and the water heater breaker if nobody is coming next weekend.
- Follow the closing checklist if you are the last visit of the season.
- Log anything you broke or noticed. Nobody is angry about a broken chair. People get angry about a broken chair nobody mentioned.
Money and repairs
- Small consumables under an agreed amount: just buy them and keep the receipt.
- Anything bigger: check with the treasurer or the family before spending.
- Do not undertake projects. Painting the porch a new color is a family decision, not a weekend surprise.
Rules that cause more trouble than they solve
A few well-meant rules tend to backfire:
- Rules about how people relax. Screens, bedtimes for adults, what counts as a proper vacation. Leave those to each family.
- Rules nobody enforces. If everyone ignores the “no shoes” rule, delete it. Dead rules make the live ones look optional.
- Rules with no owner. “Someone should clean the gutters” means nobody will. Turn chores into assignments, or into a rotation.
Review them once a year
Rules drift. The dock changed, the neighbors changed, the kids grew up. Look at the list at the spring opening or the winter draft, drop what is stale, and add whatever last season taught you. Keep the list short enough to fit on one page and post that page by the door.
Keep the rules with the calendar
The best place for house rules is wherever the family goes to book the place, because that is the moment people are actually paying attention to it. In SharedStead, the house rules and manuals live on the property next to its calendar, so anyone claiming a week sees them, and anyone opening up for the season has the checklists in their pocket. The rules stay with the house, not in one person’s memory.
For the bigger framework the rules fit into, see our guide to a shared vacation home agreement.
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